My dear Karen,

You are having a difficult life indeed, living in a country that doesn't suit you and having to get on with people that don't have the same views on life as yourself.

I understand you love your husband. You say he is good and nice with you and your children... But would a good person force you to live in a country you don't want to live in, to maybe have your daughter cicumcised if the rest of the world and especially you yourself don't want that, to lie and deceipt you as he did before ? 

Dear Karen, I know that in case of divorce the Egyptian laws will hand over your children to their father and I guess you don't want to loose them. You are a victim like so many other mothers, your children are the only thing that is keeping you in this marriage and in Egypt. You will have to find a plan. Play it with patience but play it well. Find a reason why you will have to leave Egypt for any other country with your children, force your husband to have you and the kids with him in the USA. Play the very good muslimah by praying and behaving like one and tell your husband that you have the islamic right to have your husband with you at night, every night. Start putting as much money aside as you can, you will need it some day. Invent extreme illness of a close parent (father, mother, sister...) living abroad and put the stress on your islamic duty to visit this person before he/she dies, as you have to seek forgiveness for some imaginary fault. Whatever you do, do it the islamic way, this will put his worries of you leaving him asleep. He can even come with you on your journey and as soon as you are out of the reach of Egyptian laws, play it hard. Therefor, you will have to silence whatever love is left over in your heart for your husband, be prepared fot that.

Can your family help you ? Talk to them, together you will be stronger. Do you know people of the Embassy of your country ? Maybe they have ideas ? Seek for help wherever you can, but do it discretely, don't wake up sleeping dogs.

Can any of the readers here help Karen out of her misery ? React please by sending me an email.

I will send you a private email as well.

Warmest regards and keep us posted dear Karen.

Aunt Latifa

My dear child,

I think you are still very young. And yet married already.

I think also that your husband is also very young and very unexperienced.

Making love doesn't have to hurt my dear, it can even be a wonderful experience, it even should be wonderful. As you love your husband, you'll have to grow towards each other and for that purpose you should spend a lot of time together, without having family around. Get used to each other in a natural way, talk to each other and discuss what is happening to both of you.

It is also possible that you tried to have sex, but that this didn't work out because you are experiencing "vaginism", very often seen in societies where virginity and separation between men/women is very important, such as islamic environments. If this is so, please go and see a doctor to talk about your problem, a solution will be found.

I have to say that your husband is surely a nice man, having all this patience and waiting so long to consume his bride... But apparently his patience has come to an end and I can understand that. Talk to him, let him go with you to the doctor, so he will understand.

I wish you good luck, warmest regards,

Aunt Latifa

Dear Nasreen,

Well, I think that you know for yourself that love is more important than all religions in the world. Love should not be subjected to religions or other ideologies. How could the fact that you love and get married to your beloved one condemn you and your children to hell ? See, this is a man-made invention, just to keep people dumb and blind.

Anyway, why wouldn't your children choose for themselves whatever religion they want to believe in ? Who are you to condemn them to the narrow-minded views of medieval islam ? Children should get all chances of psychological freedom in the world.

Basing your marriage on religious demands is a very bad start. Instead you better start believing in love and freedom to love whoever you want, regardless his religion. This will assure you a good future and a happy life to your children.

Free yourself from islamic slavery and become a happy and free woman, enjoying life with her wonderful husband and children.

Aunt latifa  

Dearest A.,

By the time you read my answer I guess you'll be back from your journey in France. Nevertheless, I want to warn you for this man. He surely is handsome and charming and he even more surely is looking for a way to stay in the USA. Maybe he didn't contact you anymore because he already found a way to do so or because he changed his mind. Or maybe his parents didn't want him to move away or found him a nice and suitable Moroccan fiancée... So many possibilities, so many answers.

The only thing you should keep in mind is : if this man loves me truely, he will never ever hurt me or use me. There you've got your answer.

I know life is sometimes really difficult for single women (for others too) but that fact shouldn't make us forget our common sense. Forget about this French Moroccan lover and I do really hope that during your stay in France you met a really nice, loving and trustworthy Frenchman...beware of muslim loverboys !

Always here for you,

Aunt Latifa

Dearest child,

I guess you are still a rather young person, although even not so young muslimahs suffer the same frustration as you do.

Please use your capacities to study in order to get out of your islamic ghetto one day, only a good degree and your own clever brain will help you out. You had the bad luck to be born a girl into a muslim family and to be gifted with brains...use them now to turn your bad luck into some opportunity to get out of there !

You should explain to your friends what your parents are doing to you, they will understand you and accept this if they are real friends. They might even come up with some fine ideas to help you out sometimes...

Can't you invite your friends at your home from time to time ? This way, they will see for themselves in what kind of situation you are.

I wish you good luck, a fine life and keep me posted, dear T>

Aunt Latifa